Ringing a bell for unity

Today I start my first blog, and something more too. I have had this concept for a few months now as I watch the divide between the artificial poles of liberal and conservative grow wider and wider. The accepted narrative is that our system produced the 2 worst presidential candidates out of 320 million people in this country. It has been developing over years as we get fired up by what we see in our chosen media, we obsess over politics, and specifically about ensuring that the people we vote for must share our exact beliefs or we consider them a threat to our way of life. We unload our most toxic views on social media or other online channels, often anonymously. We talk at the people we know and tell them why they are wrong and we are right. We selectively choose our facts based on which ones align with our beliefs. And then we lament that the people who are supposed to be leading our country can’t get anything done.

What do we want them to get done? For so many of us, if it is not exactly what we want, they should fight against it and defeat our ‘enemies’, meaning anyone who thinks differently. Compromise is a sign of weakness. Acknowledging that another perspective is valid is continuing the decline of our country. Wanting leaders and representatives who are able to identify problems and come together with solutions that work for the majority of people is a foreign concept. We have picked our team, Democrat or Republican, and know with certainty that an effective leader from the other team is still the wrong choice for our country because their views are wrong. And the independent voters don’t get a pass here either. Even though we haven’t picked a constant team to root for, we still just look for the candidate whose beliefs our closest to our own, regardless of who would be the best leader.

Isn’t there another way? Can’t we listen to each other? I don’t mean hold a conversation where we wait for the other person to stop talking so we can educate them. I mean listen, really listen! Try to understand, put ourselves in their shoes. Acknowledge that their beliefs come from somewhere real. That maybe even if we don’t agree with how they want to deal with it, whatever forces in their lives are leading them to these beliefs come from somewhere deep and profound, and that if these underlying causes go ignored, anger and resentment ensue. And maybe hatred, and self-destructive behavior, or violence towards others, or anything that tells the world that I AM A REAL PERSON AND I MATTER, DAMMIT!

And those feelings are the ones we need to acknowledge and understand and empathize with and address. Once we have educated ourselves on the humanity of those we share this planet with and the genuine emotions they feel, only then can we understand a path forward. Only then can we talk about how to solve the problems we face. Because let’s face it, if you don’t understand the problem, YOU CAN’T SOLVE IT. Sounds obvious, but think about whether or not you really live this idea on a daily basis. And ask yourself whether you want to really hear others or just have them agree with you.

I know many of you are hurting about the election of Donald Trump and scared of what the next four years will bring. Others are excited about the possibilities for change but don’t know what they can count on with someone whose governing approach is a complete unknown. That is why it is critical that we all recognize that the President doesn’t operate in a vacuum. We are the ones who create our culture, and enforce our norms, and set examples for each other, and make this life worth living. And give our leaders the mandate for what they need to accomplish and condone or condemn them when they don’t live up to that standard. And if we want our country to be great, we must come together with those of all beliefs and collectively define our idea of greatness. And recognize that the changes that will help us to be a better place may not be ones that fit our every ideal, but just might do something to improve our collective humanity. The one thing that should be clear to all of us after this election marathon is that there are extensive divides within our society that are only growing deeper. It is not up to the politicians. It is our responsibility.

So what do we do? The answer is different for all of us, but the only answer that is not okay is sitting on the sidelines and watching and complaining about the system. Trust me, I have done that for too long and even writing these words is building a feeling of growth and optimism within me. My answer is to do my small part to facilitate the building of community and understanding among people with differing viewpoints. And if you are reading this, I want you to take part and recognize that you have a voice that should be heard by others, as well as having the ability to grow by listening to their voices.

The idea is that I will use this blog to post about challenging topics. I’ll try to frame questions that draw out your thoughts, as well as boldly and unapologetically sharing my own views. And I will be happy to engage a dialogue in various forms. Comments on the blog are of course welcome and I’ll do my best to respond quickly. I’ll share posts via other social media. The specifics of this plan will evolve, and I welcome feedback. The real goal though is to use the blog as a jumping off point for all of us to have difficult but rewarding conversations in person with members of our communities. I encourage any of you to reach out to me directly to speak about these topics and to share this idea with your own networks. If you live in the Denver area, let’s get together and respectfully challenge each other face to face. If there is enough interest, we can do group discussions and bring in a wide range of perspectives.

This is my call to action. I am ringing a bell and asking you all to join in unity. Working together we can discover an incredible power to change the world that has always been lying within us. Let’s start doing it!

14 thoughts on “Ringing a bell for unity”

  1. This is such an important step! The endless analysis has become overwhelming and risks missing the moment to ride the momentum. The wave has rippled through us all. You can either wait for the stillness once the reverberations have subsided (which, I feel won’t happen for a loooong time!) or you can find your entrance and get entrained with the harmonic level of your choice. Women’s rights, LGBTQ, immigrants, refugees, policy, economic disparity, take your pick! I look forward to participating in this exercise with you and hopefully, many others. Thank you for taking the risk to start such an experiment in listening to understand!

  2. Excited to see you champion this Brian and look forward to some civil (albeit passionate) and healthy debate and discussion on the issues. Much like you – I feel like I have sat quietly on the sidelines for far too long. Reluctant to jump in as usually things turn argumentative and personal almost immediately. Heck…I almost silently passed on this opportunity…as I would imagine that I’m not in the majority here as I am not one of the “many” who are hurting, but one of the “others”. But who knows…maybe I can add a different and unique perspective.

    As far as potential topics…I would add taxes, healthcare, gun control, and climate change to the list that Brenda teed up…just to keep it interesting 🙂

    Great looking forum here Brian and excited to see what the future holds!

    1. This would not be much use if we all agreed. Thanks for being willing to be a minority view, although who knows how things will fall once we get into it. I do have a range of views represented on my Facebook feed and hopefully between all of us we can really start to improve the level of discourse and respectful disagreement.

  3. LaCarrubba!

    This is so cool. Thanks for putting it out there in such a thoughtful and empathetic way. This feels like the talks we had late at night in college, the ones that usually ended with me arguing that I should have the country’s only bazooka license, and you calmly reasoning with me (usually eating a chocolate something).

    If you’re at all interested in some unsolicited topics, I’d love to get a conversation going about empathy. Our digital culture hasn’t seemed to figure out a way to scale empathy, or maybe we never had much of it to begin with. I don’t know. But I’d love to hear your thoughts.

    mestrin

    1. Empathy will be central to almost every topic in this blog, so I definitely will need to address it head on. In fact, I am writing community guidelines right now and will be sure to get us started thinking about empathy. And hopefully not thinking about bazooka!

  4. Hey Brian,

    I’m excited to participate in these discussions…looking forward to conversations aimed at understanding the other perspectives, learning form disparate viewpoints, and educating each other through open, respectful dialog. As you said empathy will be key, we each bring unique life experiences to the discussion and only through trying to understand each other can we truly come together. Thank you for leading this forum!

  5. Brian,
    Congratulations as you launch your blog and these all important discussions – thank you so much for starting this and I look forward to participating! ~ Anne

Leave a Reply