Please Mr. President-elect

Please Mr. President-elect, show us you mean it when you talk about uniting the country.

Let’s get this out of the way. I didn’t want you to win. You weren’t my first choice. You might have even been my very last choice out of 320 million people in this country.

But my fellow Americans did choose you. Tens of millions of them. I am ashamed to acknowledge that I did not do a good enough job of listening to them to understand why. They weren’t hard to find. They are my family and friends and coworkers. And their voice counts for exactly as much as mine does. And they certainly now have my attention.

This cuts both ways. There are tens of millions of Americans who did not want you, who still protest at the very idea of your presence in the White House. And to your credit, you have quickly called out the need for unity, and to be their President as well. Throughout your campaign you have shown your supporters that you know how to connect with their frustrations. But you haven’t yet done that for the rest of us.

How do you plan to do that? Only you know, but perhaps you would be willing to hear what it would take for this opponent of your campaign to begin to respect your presidency.

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Let’s start with your signature issue, immigration. You have in the past acknowledged that a large majority of illegal immigrants are tremendously hard-working people who love their families so much that they braved dangerous border crossings to come here to do backbreaking jobs that our citizens won’t for wages that barely even register in this country. Reasonable people can disagree about what to do about that reality. You can say that they don’t have a right to stay here if they did not follow the proper legal process. But we don’t have to take joy in breaking up families, in ruining lives, in painting all Mexicans with the label of criminals and murderers and rapists.

Please Mr. President-elect – show your humanity by joining your policy of a wall and deportations with loud and forceful calls for respect. Send the message to your supporters that just because we are sending them back doesn’t mean we have to be happy about it, or hate them, or treat them as lesser beings. And that great care will be taken to ensure that people who are legally in this country will not be harassed and treated as if they have to prove that they are truly Americans. You must demonstrate to everyone that this policy is really about the rule of law and not about racial resentment. And that anyone who takes your policy positions as an excuse to harass anyone is not displaying the values of the Trump administration.

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At some point in the next 4 years, a Muslim will commit an act of violence in this country. As will a Christian, and a Jew, and a white person and a black person and every other kind of person. But you have made it clear that when the act of violence is committed by a Muslim, you will hold all Muslims accountable for it. Others will not face that expectation. And will not face the inevitable retaliation directed at innocent and patriotic American Muslims. Not to mention the vast majority of peace-loving Muslims in other parts of the world who oppose what ISIS stands for just as much as we do.

Please Mr. President-elect –You must make it absolutely clear with no room for interpretation that Muslims are not uniquely responsible for the worst among them. That we will fight with all of our might against terrorists of all kinds, but that we will not confuse the innocent with the guilty. That Muslims who are already here are welcome as true American citizens. And that people who want to come to this country will not face a higher bar for entry just because of their country of origin or religion. If you really think extreme vetting is the way to keep us safe, then apply it to everyone from every country and every religion.

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Let’s talk about women. Now that you are no longer running against Hillary Clinton, there is no more hiding behind comparisons of your behavior to that of Bill Clinton. It is long past time to own the fact that you bragged about sexually assaulting women. And that when many women stepped forward to claim that it wasn’t just words and that you violated them, you dismissed them.

We don’t need to dwell on what did or did not happen in those cases, or whether your words ever translated into action. We can live in the present. Now, you are the role model-in-chief. Your words and actions send signals around the world. And your campaign left hanging a powerful message that women’s bodies are there for your pleasure as a man. And that men consider it perfectly acceptable to say that to each other and to pass it off as harmless fun.

Please Mr. President-elect – Use your megaphone to correct that story. Tell us that no talk or action that demeans women in such a way is acceptable at any time. Tell us that your administration will enact changes that will make women safe from this type of predatory behavior. Because no matter how many glass ceilings get shattered, women can never be equals in our society as long as the men in power treat them this way.

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How about the black community? Your outreach to this group that has a long and tragic history in our country consisted of saying that they have nothing to lose because their only problem is that the inner cities that they live in are violence-infested and that a stronger police presence will make it all right. And you have criticized Black Lives Matter by reducing them to being defined by the few violent members among them.

Please Mr. President-elect – Listen to black people and understand the reasons why they protest. Follow the example of Glenn Beck, and simply open your mind and heart to the injustices that they experience. Understand the immeasurable harm that a heavy police presence already does to law-abiding black people who are viewed with suspicion every day of their lives. This is the only thing I ask of you here. Once you engage and are able to gain a greater understanding of their perspective, you will be able to see that there are ways to respect our black citizens without sacrificing law and order for all of us.

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One group that you have respected since before your campaign is the LGBTQ community. You have never shown an inclination to restrict their rights and seem comfortable to let them live as themselves in peace and as equals under the law.

Please Mr. President-elect – Recognize that by continuing to stand for LGBTQ people even if many of your supporters don’t like it, you will be reaffirming basic human love and decency in a profound way.

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Let’s not forget that a large part of the success of your campaign is that you did a wonderful job telling your supporters that you cared about the economic troubles they face and that it will be your mission to fix it. But you did it by pinning the blame on foreigners. Whether it is the Mexican immigrants who have come here and taken their jobs, or the Chinese trade imbalance, you painted a picture of economic pain caused by outsiders. And that fuels more resentment.

Many disagree with your assessment of the impact of trade and immigration, but I won’t tell you that it is wrong to go down the path of addressing those factors. But I will point out that you are a lifelong global businessman and you must see the elephant in the room. Technological disruption. The world of work is changing more rapidly than it ever has. Jobs are being automated, and services are becoming more and more valuable. People need to adapt and you know it.

Please Mr. President-elect – You owe it to your supporters to speak the hard truths. Foreigners are not primarily responsible for the job climate. The educational bar for success in the modern world has risen, and continues to rise quickly. It is a cruel reality, as we have never undergone such rapid change. But as long as you pin the blame on others, you make it too easy for our country to ignore addressing the core problems.

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Even if you were to follow my suggestions to the letter, I won’t pretend that this would satisfy everyone. Many will still be dramatically opposed to your policies and will fight you tirelessly. But the reality is that the most divisive and hateful elements of our society are flourishing right now and believe they are acting in the name of Donald J. Trump. You need to take dramatic steps to show the country that you stand for all Americans. And when people oppose you still – that is when you can show the world that you are a winner who can rise above it all and respect the basic rights that are fundamental to being American.

Please Mr. President-elect – Don’t succumb to authoritarian methods and suppress the voices of your foes in the public or the press. By letting them attack you without any attempts to shut them down, you will show that you trust the people of this country to decide the truth for themselves. You have achieved the presidency despite relentless opposition, so surely you can stay strong and tolerate enormous dissent now that you will hold the office. And there is no need to jail your opponents. The legal system has spoken, and by respecting that decision, you show that you can be a winner by facing your opponents directly and honestly without using your powers for intimidation.

Please Mr. President-elect – Show all of us that when you say you are going to Make America Great Again, that you will do it by respecting those things that made us great in the first place and that you will be doing it for everyone in this country. That is the difficult task of the uniter, and nothing would please me more than to see you pull that off against all odds, much like everything else you have achieved throughout your rise to the White House.