R-E-S-P-E-C-T
That is our only rule. To be welcome in this community in whatever forms it takes, you must respect each and every other member of the community. Period.
With that behind us, there are definitely some guidelines about how to show respect that I believe to be critical for this project to move forward. We are all so out of practice with getting difficult topics out in the open and growing from it, that I will lay out a clearer vision of how respect can manifest itself without shying away from having the necessary and challenging dialogue we desperately need.
- Listen. Listen. LISTEN. If you disagree with what someone has posted, your first instinct should not be to correct them and get your view out there. Try to understand what is driving their views and ask questions if you don’t see it. We often subconsciously (or consciously) rely on our stereotypes to judge where others are coming from and that prevents understanding.
- Never forget the person on the other end of your words. Whether it is your current antagonist in the debate of the day, or the abstracted group of people that you may be discussing in relation to some policy or another, don’t forget that each and every human has an amazing depth and complexity much like your own but that is also unique and different.
- When another person puts out an idea that you find reprehensible, don’t use that as an opportunity to attack them personally. You should absolutely not back down from confronting the idea, but avoid the temptation to apply that same judgment to their character. We all carry the lessons and scars from our past experiences and you can’t truly know everything about what leads a person to the views they hold.
- State your own position strongly. Don’t be shy or afraid. Yes, others may challenge you fiercely, but that is the point. And by taking part here, we are all committing to the idea that everyone has something to add and we all have something to learn.
- Guess what – every one of us is a hypocrite. ZERO exceptions. One way or another, we hold conflicting views that we justify for various reasons. Those may be valid reasons, but we limit ourselves if we fail to try to recognize our own inconsistencies. And we harm ourselves and others if we lash out when someone else calls us on it rather than using it as an opening to understand ourselves and others more.
- Always look to what problem we are trying to solve rather than viewing our decisions through the lens of ideology. No ideology on its own ever did any good in this world. It is only the practical application of the thought process behind it that serves humankind. And dividing problems into a liberal or conservative solution only introduces constraints that drive us farther apart.
- Skip the sound bites and one-liners. Those are the province of TV news and other shallow sources. This is about digging deep and articulating an argument that can help others truly understand you and your views.
I certainly don’t pretend to have all of the answers in this area, and in my role as admin of the blog I am sure I will run into difficult judgment calls. Please feel free to engage in this arena as well and provide feedback on how to strengthen the community.